I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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