Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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