She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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