Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she pinky promised me she was 18
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
