Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
