I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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