People with herpes should wear stickers.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
