He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize