where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
