god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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