I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize