Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
