Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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