I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize