I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
