I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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