Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
