and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have surprise drugs for everyone
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
