i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
