Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize