just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
