He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
