I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
