I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
