that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
