His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
