guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
