I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
