Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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