Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize