my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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