Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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