Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
they need to just BURY HIM!
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he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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