Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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