So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
