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What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
