She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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