But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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