Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize