I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i barfeds in our rink
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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