Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My ass is underappreciated
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
