I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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