hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
