Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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