you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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