you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
