we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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