There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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