even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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