dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
