yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
