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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think I won the penis lottery.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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