He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
