you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
