we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
