he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
