he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
