Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
is it fun? or sober?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
