Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize