Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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