new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
