His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
