belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
