Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
