I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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