I didn't shave. On purpose
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
