This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
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Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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