So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
